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Taking a little me time to myself and shall return to the land of VR when I am good ready and feeling a little perky again.

Slowly working some things out and heading in the right direction kind of. Or at least I think so. Guess I shall know in the next few months.

I have my first parents/teaching meeting on Wednesday for my youngest and am kind of looking forward to it. See how he has progressed and were he needs a little guidance. On the bonus side I don't have to be there for more than 1 hour unlike last year where I had 2 and half hours of pure hell with my eldest.

Ugh I hate it when I get an email from someone who needs to go away and just leave me the heck alone. Past is past and that is where you belong you sack of nasty A grade piece of shit. Perfect way to try and ruin my day.

Temperature has dropped today. Am sat shivering so Autumn is making its presence well known. Decided to have a pj day and just rest up. Sat and watched a dvd this morning and really enjoyed it. This afternoon was followed by a visit from the neighbors asking for some help with filling out forms and such. It was a chuckle a minuet as the answers I was coming away to some of the questions were just plain ridiculous and I am sure that who ever had the task for writing up forms in the first place just don't get out much at all. Anyhow all is done and am tired this afternoon. Just waiting on a phone call as I had a mysterious text message from a friend who I am guessing is about to off load her problems to me. If an asteroid should want to take me out anytime soon that would be nice as I fear my health could go downhill listening to her whoas and such.

A most excellent day. Finally managed to get out into the back garden and pick all the lovely juicy blackberries. So I got to make my jam filled up 3 large jars and half of a fourth. They are setting just nicely and cooling down in the kitchen. The house is smelling of blackberries and lemons. I am admittedly feeling sore now and know I shall be in for a sleepless night but it is nice to know I accomplished a small achievement and can enjoy the taste of it all in the next week or so.

Very good question.....

Ok I am having some serious issues with spiders just walking into my home.

I really am disliking it and would like them to all curl up and die now please if that is not to much to ask for?

Well the blackberry picking was called off today. The weather decided to turn nasty overnight and so I woke up to the sound of rain bouncing off the windows. Granted it is only out into the back garden but I have only just gotten over a cold of sorts and I don't want the boys to come down with it. So have rescheduled it for Tuesday hopefully. That way the ground is less slippery and muddy. But I couldn't have done it anyhow as I would have had to of stopped given the events that unfolded with the neighbors cat foaming at the mouth quite literally. So they came pounding on my door worried as hell. Had the two of them holding him whilst I looked to see what was going on. Their dogs had kennel cough a while back and by the way the cat was retching I would say that is what the cat has as well given that it can be transmitted from a dog to a cat.............I cracked open a tin of tuna and put some into a bowl after he got cleaned up. He went straight for it and hasn't been sick. So I will just have to wait and see. I cant do nothing and the vets are not open on a sunday so its a case of watching and seeing what happens next.

So I have certainly had one of those mornings. Fortunately the afternoon was a bit better.

My phone rung shortly after I had come back from the shops this morning and it was a local number. I answered it and an automated service from my sons high school. The was that they wanted to know as to why my youngest was not in school if he would be turning up to school the next day if not how long he would off for and could I supply a written note on his return. My jaw dropped and my first thought was what the fuck has happened here. The last I saw of my sons were this morning. My eldest had left to get his bus as usual at 8.00am and my youngest was picked up by 8.15am and taken on the disabled school bus. The phone call had happened just after 11.30am so my throat was closing over and an over whelming sense of are my kids ok? So I hung up and called the schools secretary and asked her what was going on. She asked me to wait a second. Wait a second if my youngest has gone walking out of your school grounds he does not know about dangers or what can happen. He sees a car coming towards him he stands and waves at it. He does realize his body will be thrown across the road. If its my eldest who has bunked off of school (not that he ever has) his ass wont know whats hit him and he will be sitting precariously so that he is not crying.

I really have no patience when it comes to a school secretary asking me to wait. But anyhow whilst I am thinking over the worst thoughts and processing who I will be taking my anger out on I get my things together. Keys, wallet, phone still attached to ear waiting. So she gets back to me and stats that she will now transfer me through to the D.A.S. unit and can confirm that my eldest is in his lessons. But cant officially tell me if my youngest is. So im now exiting my house to go next door and let the neighbors know to keep a look out just in case my youngest by some miracle manages to walk the 3 miles or so home on his own as I will be heading in the schools direction to go ape shit. But the secretary does not transfer me oh no the dappy cow cuts me off. That's right she hangs up on me. So I ring back whilst now stood in my neighbors house and another secretary answers me and appears is actually qualified to transfer me to the D.A.S. unit. Finally I feel I am close to releasing some sort of rant of what is going on there when the teacher confirms that she saw my youngest less than 5 minuets before sitting in a lesson and doing quite well.

I exhale and my shoulders relax but my hear is still beating like a jack hammer I swear I feel my blood pressure falling. So both kids are in school and yet no one can explain as to why I had a call from the automated system. They even confirmed that it was their fault. Seriously I had to point out that I am a single parent should they pull that stunt more than once chances are I might just have a heart attack and then what will they do.

But this afternoon was a little bit better a less stressful fortunately. So all is good unless your my blood pressure.

So the hospital visit was ok today. The doctor for sure wants me under the knife so he can see what is happening with at least my left knee.

We have both agreed after the Christmas would be best for reasons being that my youngest having Autism is going to have to go into a respite care home of sorts. Although the operation itself is a day one were im in and out on the same day it is the after bit where I would not physically handle and give proper care to him. He has given me heads up it will take at least 8-10 weeks maybe 12 weeks before I would be in the situation to care for my own son. Given that it takes a while for the paper work to go through as it is for the operation and the healing process that would be bad enough. But then he would also have all the overload of Christmas on top and all the stresses I do at some point go through over the Christmas period with him I didn't feel it was right to add to the changes of him not living with me for a small while.

As it is the adjustments to high school are a slow progress so keeping fingers crossed that once Christmas is over with and the kids return in the new year my only concern shall be for my eldest and how it will all affect him. Not that a teenage boy likes to communicate his feelings at the best of times so I am sure there will be a hurdle or two that will require leaping.



So a stress free ish Christmas sort of and whilst I know it is coming with the operation at least the doctor was and still is accommodating to needs and circumstances in an understandable way.

It sucks. I have a cold progressing today as I have sneezed constantly followed by my constant use of a tissue to stop the dripping this afternoon. I have a hospital appointment tomorrow to see the consultant about my knee and the possibilities of an operation. I cant cancel it neither cause if I do then I would have to wait a further 6 months before I get to see him again. Shall have to steam and honey and lemon the hell out of the cold and hope that it don't progress any worse.

So the washing machine decided it was not going to playing ball today. Got the tool box out and threatened that if it didn't buck its ideas up I was going to perform surgery with the hammer. Neighbour came round after I texted her so she could take the clothes that had washed but not fast spun and rung out the wetness for her to take back to hers and put on a fast spin.

Took some of apart and drained of the gunky crap as best I could seems to be working now but am playing catch up now after an hour trying to figure it all out and getting it working to actually fast spin. Perks of having a father that was a plumber I guess.

Cooked a mean roast lamb this afternoon and used a new spice and herb mixed shaker that can be used on either meat or veggies so it was all yum and the plates were cleared.

Neighbours and myself are getting things ready this week for to pick the blackberries that are growing out in our back gardens. We are going to attempt in making jam and my eldest has requested a blackberry pie. So shall be fun but am thinking it will be done towards the end of the week as I have a hospital appointment on Tuesday for a consultation about my possible operation on my knee. Nervous as hell and shitting a brick has not kicked in as yet but am sure in 24hrs I will be.

Never mind been yet another good day and my youngest only had one minor meltdown this morning so cant complain. He even took time this afternoon to read a book or two t me I was really impressed with how far his reading is coming along and given that that doctors when diagnosing him and his Autism first said don't expect him to talk at all or do anything for himself he has come a long way. Big proud moment there for him :)

So I went clothes shopping with my eldest today. Just him and I.

We stopped off for a bite to eat firstly at the Miss Maude café that has reopened and enjoyed a toastie each.

Once we were fuelled up we were ready to tackle and I was willing to embrace the on mass of the nope, no mother and im so not wearing that. First shop we went into was interesting as I was not aware their were three girls stood behind me that goes to the same high school as my son. So we are stood there in the boys section may I just point out and the giggles start followed by the heckle. Well I turned to face the girls and they taunt him over the fact that we are looking at nightwear for him. What people don't wear night wear? He bolts off after I tried to defuse the situation and tried speaking with them. So I go off after him and we left the shop. Went into the opticians instead and got his glasses fixed as one of the pads had come off that rest on the nose. So we got that fixed and I coaxed him to go to another shop. We are stood in a different and once again the same three girls walk pass and laugh. Fortunately my son stands his ground this time around and grabs some clothes and goes off into the changing rooms. I am so pleased of him even if he did find it embarrassing going clothes shopping with his mother. So after he had picked out a few more items we paid and went into another shop and carried on. So he has clothes all set for his holiday in October to Holland. Still need to pick him up night wear though. But we got everything else.

My youngest has had a good day as well so calm and relaxing. Could be chaos tomorrow but shall worry about that when it comes. Today has been a good one though.